42 Quirks

(Image found here. Copyright Unknown)

“Did you know that our staple food is also our currency?” Andy said as he took a big bite of his Big Mac.
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The story so far: (Part 1 & Part 2)
Two people in an oblong, stretched room are searching for a window. They find it – minimized. They open it, go through the window, enter oblivion & step out into a brand, new world.

*******

“Looks the same. Feels the same. We can’t be too far away from the fork.”
“It depends on how you look at it, really. If you’re looking to get as far away from A.R. as possible this would be a very bad place to end up. on the other hand, if you want to return to A.R. as soon as possible – this is the best place to be.”

A.R. is Absolute Reality – the universe that we all live in. Everything else is A*R – Alternate Reality. You see, dreams have a universe of their own. Every time you dream, you are actually creating an parallel universe – an alternate reality. Every choice you make, every decision you take is a pathway to this parallel universe, this alternate reality. Dreams are direct windows to these alternate universes.

That is where we come into the picture.

We are tA/ARP – the Alternate/Absolute Reality Patrol. Our job is to edit the Alternate Realities that could be detrimental to our Absolute Reality. Often this is accomplished by influencing the subject into believing that the Alternate Reality in question is detrimental to their *own* existence.

Simple, yet elegant, isn’t it?

“Sure. Let’s get this show on the road.”

Our destination was a posh-looking apartment in the middle of one of the richest areas of the city. The subject apparently lived on the top floor – clearly, things had worked out well in this scenario. How else would you explain a penthouse flat? I was impressed. The subject had chosen well. Heck, I wouldn’t mind having a pad here!

The lift opened into (what looked like) a well-decorated lobby – or is it called an ante-chamber? A butler greeted us upon arrival. A butler, eh? I thought to myself. Impressive. We were ushered into a large study that also served as a home-office. The subject sat behind a large table that looked like it was made out of mahogany, or ebony, or whatever it is that the rich guys keep bragging about.

“Who are you & what do you want?”
“Mr. Smith, we are from the I.R.S. and we’re here to investigate you.”

Mr. Smith is, quite obviously, an alias. I can’t tell you the subject’s real name. What I can tell you is this: the subject in question was offered a large bribe in exchange for trade-secrets – you now, the kind a competitor would pay for. The RA team (Risk Assessment team) at tA/ARP estimated that there was a 99.375% probability that the subject would eventually become a bigger menace if left unchecked.

“But… but… I…”

“We know everything, Mr. Smith. I must admit, you have come a long way from corporate espionage – you sell state secrets now. I’m impressed! However, it also ensures that you will be going away for a long, LONG time.”
Like I said earlier, our job is to influence the subject. A gullible mind is easy to influence if you have your story right. In this case, influencing him meant scaring him. By the looks of it, the commander seemed to be doing a fine job. I could see the subject turning pale. I could sense the panic building in him. I could feel the fear emanating from him. Heck, I could almost read his thoughts. This alternate reality wasn’t well-constructed at all; which meant that he hadn’t thought it through. This was going to be easy – right out of the textbook.

“Mr. Smith, from this moment on you are under arrest. Here’s the warrant. As of this moment all your accounts have been frozen. You are to not to leave your house without permission from the court. Do you understand me?”
“Y-y-y-e-s.”

We had the guy where we wanted him – in the corner, sweating his pants off. The rest of it was pretty standard procedure.

“You have the right to remain silent…”
————
“The skies have begun to fall. The A*R is crumbling. Time to leave, 101. Is the subject asleep?”
“Yes. I’ve set up the re-insertion equipment. I also added a little extra to ensure a smooth ride back.”
“Good. Keep an eye out for the skirting tile that looks like aminimized window on the taskbar.”

I smiled & said, “Ready & waiting.”

*******
And thus, the story concludes. But first, a disclaimer: I had thought of this story much before “Inception” released – I hadn’t gotten around to writing it. I hope you’ll believe me. And yes, do let me know what you think. Thanks for dropping by! :)
——
Footnotes:

• Original pic by puroticorico.
• Remixed under CC 2.0 Attribution using Befunky.

The story so far: (Part 1)
Two people in an oblong, stretched room are searching for a window. After looking high & low, one of them chances upon a tile in the skirting that looks suspicious. They press it and…

*******

A window squeezed out of the tile & positioned itself on the wall.

We’d seen our share of windows during training – baroque, gothic, neo, ionic, greek, modern, post-modern and all that. But this one took the cake, the icing, the cherry & all that. I’d once seen a window that was so small, it looked no more than a ventilation hole. The room ended up looking like solitary confinement. I learnt later the owner had been wrongly imprisoned & then tortured in jail. I guess things you have a deep hatred for _do_ leave a really deep impression.

Or things you love.
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“Look for the window.”

I started scanning the room. It wasn’t too big; it would take me a few seconds to realize -

“There is no window.”
“Can’t be. Keep looking. It has to be here somewhere. There’s always a window.”
“You’ve been here before, right? Don’t you remember where you saw it last?”
“Things have changed. The room is quite different from what I remember. And anyway, I am as new to this place as you are. Just keep looking..”

Was there a hint of wistfulness in her voice? I decided not to pursue the matter further.
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Read the previous part here: Whodunit (Part I)
The story so far:
Jeeves & his master discuss the fire that gutted down the F.S.B. Was it an accident? Was it arson? Read on to find out!
——-

There was a slight pause (or had I imagined it?) before Jeeves continued.

“Not quite, sir. Most of the money went into clearing the debt. The surplus money was being utilized for the upkeep of the school; for instance, some of it went into buying the turpentine for polishing the wooden floors & doors.”

I had a look on my face that said you-must-be-joking. He had a look on his face that said I’m-not-kidding.

I’d seen that look earlier. I knew what that look meant.

Every year the students that graduate out of Butler School are given an opportunity to choose a butler-name for themselves. Most of them chose Jeeves – after the character made immortal by P.G.Wodehouse – for themselves; only a few of them live up to the name. John Smith graduated at the top of his class & the rest, you would think, is history, right?
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“Ah, here you are, sir! Welcome back to F.S.B. I hope your travel did not pose too many problems? May I take your hat & your coat?”

That is Jeeves – always the gentleman. But don’t worry. My name isn’t Bertie Wooster. And this isn’t a P.G.Wodehouse story.
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The first meeting is always special – and she knew the drill by now.

First, look for a sucker. Identifying them wasn’t such a huge deal. All she had to do was look for the ones with the glazed eyes, a foolish smile & a lost expression on their faces. Okay, so the foolish smile was a red herring – I was just checking if you were paying attention.

Second, position self. If the sucker had been already primed, the position was automatically decided – somewhere in the area swept by the corner of the eye, but well away from the blind spot. Obviously, if you want to get noticed, what’s the use of settling in the blind spot, eh?

Third, call-out, but do NOT make it too obvious. A sly glimpse, a sneak peek, a quick glance – barely visible but enough to get noticed. Making your presence felt was what was important. Once this step was complete, the rest of it was a cakewalk, all downhill, easy as pie – you get the drift…

Sometimes, there would be a fourth step, too – nudge. More often than not, this step came into play only if the sucker was engrossed in something else, or had too many things on their mind, or – as it had happened in some in some extreme cases – had A.D.D.

Only the patient ones stayed back for step four. Tonight, she did not count herself among the patient ones.
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