42 Quirks

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To give you that sponge-shoulder when you cry…
To assure you that you’ll score at the first try!
To lift you up when your spirits are low,
To speed you up when things go slow!
To make you feel like you are the king,
To stand by you when you haven’t done anything!
To teach you the finer points of life,
To make sure your ‘girl’ becomes your ‘wife!’
To clean up the mess when every one else has left,
To ensure you never feel bereft…
To take you on a night-tour to hunt for food
To say, “Take me drunk. I’m home, dude!”
To listen to you each time you yell,
To tell you, “It’s okay, no need to dwell…”
To plonk on your sofa & fiddle with the remote,
To help you learn your lessons by rote!
To walk up to the girl you had a crush on -
To tell her, “Make him yours, before he is gone!”
To use things you own & care not one bit
To tell you (however fat you are) “You are fit!”
To push you back & jump into the fight
To come back with a bleeding nose & say, “It’s alright!”
To remind you that the sun will still rise in the east…
To introduce you to others as the “good-looking beast.”
To say anything further, I leave it to you -
To tell me, what does your friend mean to you?

—–

I seem to be on a spree – but I’m not complaining. Maybe it’s better to NOT resolve & just do it. Whatever.

I’m enjoying it, so far… :)

Well, the show started…

And that’s an unintended pun. :P

The phone calls started flowing in and I tried to answer as many calls as possible, but I did eventually lose out on a lot of them.

Then the sales team entered, with Vikram at the helm.

They brought me out into the conference room, where a cake had been set up, oops sorry, a huge chocolate cake, with lots of icing, cherries, the works…

I already had a hunch where some of it would end up.

I attempted a small thank-you speech, but failed miserable. I was too dazed to attempt anything. And so, I turned my attention towards the cake…

The knife sliced through, and with one wary hand to stop (or at least pause him from transferring the cake from its rightful position on the table to a new location, viz., my face) But his hand seemed to have a mind of its own…

After I had fed the cake to my Prog Head Kanchan, I turned to find the cake in my face.

Not all of it, just a huge chunk of it.

It tasted yum :)

And smelt yum, too! Heh heh.
(Some of it slid down my nostrils. Hence the statement)

Revenge!! I ran after my Prog Head and Producer, to ‘hug’ them. Diabolical of me, no? Heh heh.

The rest of the day was mostly a barrage of phone calls, well wishers, and so forth. A listener actually came to the studio with another cake. I was almost over-whelmed.

Rosh, Kanchan, Shubhra, Smita, all the jocks, my alter-ego Romesh (who is actually looking over my shoulder as I type this – yeah, I am doing it to placate him…) this has been the best budday I have had till date!! Thanks a ton!!

All the thanks in the world wouldn’t express how much I actually mean them…

A silver jubilee year, with such a golden start. What more could I have asked for!! :)

Oh and almost forgot. Here’s the link to those fotus…

HAPPY BUDDAY TO ME!!

Date: 14th June

Time: All day event

PROLOGUE:
———–

After a barrage of phone calls from all those near and dear, I fnally managed to pick up my sorry ass, off the bed and take a shower. (To all those with the skeptical look: Yes indeed, I DID take a shower…)

I reached the office, and was promptly called in by Sameer (VP & Station Director, Radio Mirchi Pune) with a serious expression on his face. My Prog Head, Kanchan and all the other jocks were present there as well.

I sensed something was amiss. Sameer broke the silence.

“What is this guys? Where’s the quotient?”

“But Sameer – ”

“No ifs and buts!! This is not done! You’ve been told a thousand times, maybe more than that! And if you still can’t maintain the quotient, well, there’s something really wrong somewhere…”

Then he turned his guns on me…

“Shrikant, you especially, have had a bad quotient. You really need to work on it!”

What a start to the day. 24 revolutions around the sun, and the 25th has to begin like this. I was trying to check and verify the validity of his statements, when –

I did not see Kanchan tripping.

I did not see the rest of the jock team, attempting to hide their grins.

I did not see Sameer ‘trying’ to maintain a stoic face as he said this.

I did not see everybody trying hard to suppress the laughter that had bubbled up.

And then it burst forth.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!”

I was picked, kicked, congratulated, hugged, shoved, tickled, and all the jazz and razmatazz. :D

What a way to start my 25th birthday. Heh heh.

I wasn’t complaining. No way!

CHAPTER 1
———–

Roshan (my Producer, sweet woman :) ) and I planned the show for the day. It was World Blood Donation/Donors day, I interviewed a pan-shop vendor who had donated his blood 170+ times, the show was set.

With my writing pad in tow, I entered the studio, and got set for my show…

4:50 PM:
RJ Maanasi, the Total Filmy Jock, signs out…

4:56 PM
I set up my Sound effects and the songs to play, and get ready…

4:59 PM
The program credits begin…

5:00 PM
Before I begin to describe what happened, a brief introduction is required here:

I begin all my shows with a standard opening line:
“Punekar Mirchiwaale, zara ghadyaale kade laksha dya, paach waajun gelet kaay!”
[Read: "Punekar Mirchiwaale, do look at your watches, it's 5 PM, it's show time!"]

After this I usually launch into the topic of the day, describe it a wee bit, and ask the listeners a question. The show I host, is a games show called Bumper2Bumper. It has lots of contests and loads of fun-filled moments.

So I began,

“Punekar Mirchiwaale, – ”

That’s as far as I got.

After I had spoken those two words, the entire Programming team at Radio Mirchi Pune, barged into the studio, screaming, yelling, and basically making as much noise as they could.

And then, the entire city of Pune knew that it was my birthday.

To say that I was shocked or surprised is an understatement. I was dumbstruck, speechless, ecstatic, words-had-left-me, grinning-like-mad, euphoric, shaking, you name it.

Kanchan, Roshan, Safia, Shubhra, Mirchiman Aniruddha, Khubsoorat Smita, Aditi of Purani Jeans, Dr. Love, Neha, Maanasi, almost everybody was in the studio and wishing me…

That’s about all of it that I can remember, apart from being dazed.

After wishing me on air, the guys left and I began the show a little unsteady from the high that I had just recieved.

And then, the phone lines began ringing…

This was going to be one pleasantly long day.

“Hello, Radio Mirchi…”

(To be continued.)

A sneak peek at part 2:
Enter – the Sales team – a huge chocolate cake – a complete mess – funny pics – and a whale of a time…

Yours truly is in Ahmedabad.

At Mudra Institute of Communication, Ahmedabad (MICA) to be precise.

A total batch of about 30 RJs from different stations of Radio Mirchi across the country ( both existing and upcoming) is here to get their basics brushed up, and to learn newer things about the world of Radio Communciation.

For the next 15 days, I will be infrequent with my updates, and comments. I apologize in advance. *ducks*

I am already going crazy with my Sony DSC W-7, and behaving like a perfect tourist. Will post details of my Ahmedabad trip and the corresponding pics soon.

Until then, please excuse the delays and kindly adjust. :)

Just as there are things that make you go “hmmmm…”, there are things that make you go “aah!”

Three days in Goa did exactly that to us… Aaah!

Have uploaded a few pics on Flickr and Picasa Web. Click on the links to check them out.

Do let me know what you think.

More coming up later in the day. Especially a few thoughts on the difference between Tagging and Categorizing that I wanted to pen for a long time.

I see I have not been missed.

Hmmm, so I am wondering now, whether I should or shouldn’t tell you about my 3-day trip to Goa.

Should I tell you that we were camped at the Colva beach? Should I tell you about the babes on the beache? Should I tell you about the amazing Goan Fish Curry and Chicken Xacuti? Should I tell you about the complete inactivity that we had chosen as the only task for three days?

Should I tell you about the relaxation, which incidentally was better than any spa?

Maybe I shouldn’t tell you about any of this, if only to spite you. May be I shouldn’t even upload the loads and loads of pics.

You think I am kidding? Nope, I am not. Wait till I upload the pics to prove it.

Goa was fun. Three days of complete relaxation, rest and unwind. More details & pics coming soon.

*****

On a side note, this bugger met the woman of *my* dreams. What kind of a justice is that?

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. C’est la vie and all that jazz…

I stopped and turned.

It couldn’t be…I said to myself…It just couldn’t be… her.

While I was standing there, contemplating which of the two results – me going and speaking with her or me ignoring her after having seen her – would be more disastrous, I saw her walking towards me. So the decision was made. The next step was to think about things we had in common so that I could start up a chat and, if lucky enough,sustain it… And it was then that I rememberd our first conversation…

*******

Everyone in the school had the hots for her. I was merely a number in a long line of aspirants for her courtesy… That was when it has happened. As I was coming out of the maths class contemplating on an integral problem, that I thought the professor got all wrong, I saw her standing in front of me.Actually I noticed it seconds before we collided. The collision being averted only because she screamed…. “HI!!!”

Puzzled I looked first straight into her eyes, and then behind me and then started to walk on, afraid I would reveal my weakness if I stood there any longer. She immediately turned and said…”Hey, That’s no way to treat a woman! Where your courtesy?”

I stopped dead in my tracks.

“That’s no way a woman, who expects to be treated well, must behave. Don’t you think so?”

I cursed myself. She smiled. Good, so she hadn’t taken offence. I’d have to be more careful next time. And we stood just like that. There was a moment of awkward silence between us. She chose to break it before I could venture to do the same.

“So, aren’t you gonna ask me out for coffee or something?”

“Is it a part of the bargain?”

“If you meant the privilege of speaking to me, I’d say yes to that!” and she laughed. It was a carefree laugh. So we want to play the intellectual tug-o-war, do we? Well I am game…

“No,what I actually meant was the privilege of getting totalktome. I don’t talk to strangers. Especially not to ones, who think they are a privilege. Thank you and have a nice day.” I started to move toward the cafeteria,where I had to solve other (less) important problems over a cup of coffee…I managed to sneak a glance at the goddess, She was…well…dumb-struck…

*******

I sat poring over the integral-snakes that my professor had assigned me. It couln’t be. I could not go wrong with the problem. The solutions had to match. Either the printed solutions were wrong or… NO it had to be the printed solutions.

“It’s the third step in your problem.Change the minus to a plus. The rest of it looks pretty okay…”

So she still hadn’t given up. Hmmm. I was dealing with a perseverant phenomenon here.

“Thank you,” I said politely.

“You’re welcome, you now officially owe me a coffee.”

I had to admire her persistence. My long buried skills were returning. Good.

“So do you always charge for your unwanted assistance?”

“No,most of the timepeople get it for free…”

“And, Something tells me I ain’t getting this for free, right?”

“I charge only those who can pay me back.”

“Let me tell you I don’t pay for unwanted assistance. I accept it as complementary.”

“I never said I was gonna charge you…”

“What, then, was the coffee for?”

“To start this conversation…”

Game One. Round One. Goddess.

“OK.So you won. What is it that you want of me?”

“Hey, Was that easy or what!! Fromwhat I was told about you, I think you oughtta have done better that that…”

“And what were you ‘told’,pray?”

“Nothing, I had to sustain the conversation, somehow…”

“And why did you want to do that?”

“Because I like having sensible talks.”

‘I am afraid you have chosen the wrong person to do so. I am neither sensible nor do I talk.”

“You know, It is so difficult to find someone who can talk sensible?”

“I know. And I have been disappointed many times.I donot wish to be disappointed again.”

“Ahhh…Ze competitive streak eez returning M’sieur?”

Game two. Round One. Goddess.

Man, does she know how to deflate or what!!

“Ok,back to the point. Why do you want to sustain a conversation with me?”

“I hate having conversations that last for less than five seconds after which you are in a tearing hurry to rip off – either your clothes or your feet – from the spot. Those are for sluts and their customers. I believe you are not from the same class of people…”

“And how do you assume that?”

“Because I am not…”

“Is that a public statement or a personal belief?”

“What do you think?”

“Why does it matter to you what I think of it?”

“It should, shouldn’t it, I mean a mirror must reflect the feelings of the person looking into it?”

“What makes you think I am your mirror?”

“Because you are asking me exactly the same question I am asking myself this moment…”

I stood there looking at a person I had always believed existed somewhere on the face of this earth and who, secretly, I hoped I would never meet. But I had met that person and that was that. She seemed to have read the thoughts in my mind as she gave out a tinkling laugh.

*******

My thoughts were yanked back to the present by the tinkling laugh. I smiled at her and asked.

“Do you still play those games?”

“I still do play games. Not the same ones,although. I have grown up now. Haven’t you?”

Somethings never change, do they?

“If you were to live different lives everyday,you would love to be Humphrey Bogart one day and Arnold Schwarzenegger the next, and that would be definitely great.The only problem is you wouldn’t have a day to live by yourself.”
- Born Stinger.