42 Quirks

(Thanks to hummingcrow@Flickr for the original pic! Remixed using BeFunky.)

Finally, posting the (grand?) finale!!

I suggest, you read 24 & Dead – Part 1 & 24 & Dead – Part II before you continue…

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The fuckin meteorite had broken my toes, caused the girl and my cellphone to split, and worse, it had also fried my phone’s innards. I stopped to think – how did that happen? Magnetism? I looked at my watch. It was broken, but working. Radioactivity? Maybe… If that was it, it could be frying my innards, too.

And at that moment I knew I was going to die. I was only twenty-four and I was about to die. Pity.

I thought of fighting death till my last breath and all that poetic, euphemistic jazz. Then I realized that even if I were to make it out of here alive, I would still have to fight my extreme [blood]-phobia, somehow get to a payphone, call Emergency services, and hold on to ‘dear life’ until they managed to locate me – because I did not have a clue as to where I was. And even if they did find me they’d have to do so within the next few hours – because I estimated I’d be dead anyway by sunrise.

And then again, even if this miracle somehow DOES happen, there’s still the suspected radioactivity to consider. Already I could feel my DNA mutating, my genes shifting, my chromosomes doing whatever-it-is-that-they-do, my balls hurting… (Okay, so the last one wasn’t due to the radioactivity, so what?) Plus, I had nothing in my stomach – no food, no pills, nothing.
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(Thanks to hummingcrow@Flickr for the original pic! Remixed using BeFunky.)
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As promised, here’s the part 2/3 of “24 & Dead.” On time. :)

I suggest, you read “24 & Dead – Part I” before you continue.
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So. There I was, minding my own business, eyeing the hot chick across the road, trying to think up a suitable pick-up line, when all of a sudden, there was this huge crashing noise. And then, predictably, the next thing I remember was that I was down on the road with this huge boulder was lying on my foot. My toes had been smashed. To a pulp. But you already know that. So I’ll skip that part.

Typical story, right? In fact, you know what happened next, don’t you? A huge crowd gathered around me, and someone made a frantic call to Emergency Services, while others tried to move the boulder, etc. Frankly speaking, I would have loved to say that, too – but I’d be lying.

There was no one except me and the chick, and she took one look at me, the boulder, and she split – just like that. Whatever happened to humanity and the human milk of kindness? I’m sure this one was busy staring at liposuction ads when the human milk of kindness was being distributed.

So anyway, there I am lying on the road, in the middle of nowhere, with a boulder on my feet – which are completely smashed to a pulp – and not one soul around.

Must be my lucky day.
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(Thanks to hummingcrow@Flickr for the original pic! Remixed using BeFunky.)
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I have realized that I need to write my stories in one sitting. Whenever I take a break, it also breaks the flow of thought, character, humor, crispness – basically everything about the story.

Hence, a few of my previous stories have been *really* crappy – sorry about that. Hope this one isn’t – because this just happens to be a one-sitting story. Enjoy! :)
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I’m 24. I am dead. Not a good situation to be in, right?

Isn’t it funny, though? I mean, there are a zillion ways of saying, “I am dead.” They are called euphemisms, I’m told. But they all mean the same to me – dipshit. I mean, who cares if I have ‘moved on’ or ‘breathed my last’? I ain’t around to hear how beauti-fuckin-fully you are depicting the end of my existence, am I now? So what difference does that make to me?

But it isn’t my fault, really. I was right there minding my own business, when this huge boulder came crashing down and fell right on my toes.
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