I must have hardly taken a few steps, when I heard the same wheezy, “Excuse me?”

“Yes?” I noticed that my voice came out an octave higher, what was commonly called a squeak.

“We detect fear. Are you a-fear?”

“Afraid. The word is afraid,” my TA instincts took over, “And the answer is yes. I don’t talk to disembodied voices everyday, you know!!”

“No, no! You have gotten us all wrong. We are not dis-whatever-ied. We are humanoid voices!”

“Humanoid?”

This seemed somewhat familiar - thanks to all the sci-fi novels I’d devoured. And familiar territory always helps calm jangled nerves. I silently thanked all the Asimovs and Clarkes for being there.

“Yes. We possess shape-shifting capabilities. We look and sound very human. You will never recognise the difference.”

“Well, in that case, how about giving me a demonstration?”

“Demonstration? How is that?”

“No, you don’t have to appeal for a wicket. Just come out of the shadows and say a simple ‘Hi’ or whatever it is that you Humanoids say by way of civilized greeting.”

“Greeting?”

“Yeah, greeting! You know the random things you say when you meet someone for the first time??”

“Oh those! But we did greet you the first time, in the exact Earth custom of the humans, didn’t we?”

“You did??”

“Yes we did! We said ‘Excuse me!’ like all the other Earthlings!”

Earthlings? EARTHLINGS?? That meant…

“Listen! What do you mean by Earthlings? What planet are you from? And why don’t you show yourself, whoever or whatever you are??”

The entire exercise was getting a little frustrating. Also, the realization had dawned upon me, that the direction the entire exercise was taking, any attempts at channel-surfing the telly and that cup of hot coffee would have to wait another day. And that exactly, was what was frustrating about the entire exercise.

“Well, we can’t tell you where we are from. But we can show ourselves, provided you promise NOT to - how do you say it - free-caught?”

“FREAK OUT, you mean.” TA instincts again. “Yeah, I promise.”

Before we continue to the exciting part that follows, I must mention that this silly habit of mine, of going ahead and promising has landed me in trouble many a time. And I am not referring only to the more aesthetic samples of the female species. I mean the whole concept of saying the stupid phrase, in general.

Just as I did in the paragraph earlier to the explanation.

I wasn’t really ready for what I saw.

In my defense, I’d say, no one could have anticipated what I saw, let alone prepared for it.. And though I had been amply fore-warned, the scream that left my throat could easily have earned me one of the top 3 spots on the list of THE Ten Scariest Blood-Curdling Screams of All Time.
*****
To Be Concluded.
—–
No. Honest. I have had enough of not finishing stories. So I am gonna CONCLUDE this one with the next post.

Missed ya, all!

No, really. I did.

It happened like this.

I was on my way home after a long day’s work. And I was really looking forward to some R & R, mindless channel surfing on the telly coupled with a hot cup of coffee and jelly-filled cream biscuits…

Along the way I was cogitating - thinking, that is - about the problem I had left half-solved on my lab desk.

The solution to it was just around the proverbial corner. Except, the proverbial corner was not in proverbial sight, far as the proverbial eye could see.

Too many proverbial what-have-yous spoiling the proverbial whats-it-called.

Engrossed in my thoughts thus, I was traversing my daily route, almost robotically, when I heard a wheezy, “Excuse me?”

I stopped to see who it was that the voice addressed.

Oddly, there was no one around. That meant only one thing - I was the one being addressed. And if I was the only person in that place, then the voice that was addressing me must be devoid of a body to go with it.

Certain paranormal and supernatural entities immediately lent themselves to reason. However, the brain decided to do a little more of the Sherlock exercise before jumping to finalities.

The part of the city I had reached in my perambulations was what one would call partially deserted. Partially, because it was architecturally bestowed, but the architectural efforts had never seem a human complement.

As I stood there pondering about my next move, I heard the same wheezy voice, and the same words, “Excuse me?”

Thoroughly confused, I said the first words that came to my mind, “Yes? How may I help you?”

That is what a Teaching Assistant’s job does to you.

“Erm, thank you for your kind assistance. You see, we are slightly lost…”

A weird thought crossed my mind. Talking to voices was exactly like teaching in a classroom full of sleeping students. They are there, but not THERE.

“Oh, ok! Go straight down the road, take the second left and the first right at the traffic signal, you’ll reach the Train station. Hard to miss.”

“Thank you, that’s very kind of you, but that’s where we just came from.”

“Ooops sorry, kinda jumped the gun!” I said grinning away to no one in particular.

No one in particular.

No one in…

No one.

That’s when the thought actually hit me in its entirety.

“Hey, wait a minute! Who am I talking to?”

Silence.

“Hello? Are you there?”

Silence.

I could have sworn a voice just spoke to me and said that they were slightly lost.

THEY??!!

Beads of sweat were beginning to form on my forehead, as the gravity of the situation came crashing down on me.

Very slowly, I started to back out, throwing occasional glances all around, trying to ascertain if the voice-without-a-body was just that, or if it had other surprises in store, hidden away somewhere.

I must have hardly taken a few steps, when I heard the same wheezy, “Excuse me?”

To be continued…

*****

I know you hate those three words by now. But I LOVE them…

*Evil Grin*

That’s all that was remaining. And a gulp was a life-line.

Should he use it now? Or should he wait for things to get a little clearer. But, using it now would mean that they would get clearer. Yeah, he’d use it.

No, wait! What if things would get clearer anyway? What if using it was actually wasting a perfectly good gulp? And the only one? No, he decided. He’d wait.

The horizon stretched before him, and his vision was sort of blurred at the edges. A trick of the light, he told himself. A few meters more, and I’ll find it.

Find what, came the question. Whatever it is that I am supposed to find, went an answer from nowhere, to nowhere. An oasis, another question was instantly shot back? Yeah, maybe. Just keep moving.

And so, he kept moving.

The desert stretched as far as his eyes could see. Actually, it stretched farther than his eyes could see. But he didn’t know that.

He also didn’t know that he’d been walking around in circles. The shifting sands of the desert always covered his tracks as soon as he made them. Every hundred steps, he’d end up where he’d started.

And he would, probably, never know.

Treacherous place, the desert.

His eyes scanned the landscape. Nothing new. Nothing distinguishable. Nothing certain. Except for one thing. The thought filled him with a sense of dread. He shook his head, as if wanting to clear the thoughts. Not that it helped, but at least it was worth a try.

Darn all those books he’d read.

He made a mental note to write a letter to all authors requesting, nay telling them, that shaking one’s head does NOT clear any thoughts. Hell, it doesn’t anything even remotely similar. If anything, it leaves you with a headache. And a headache is a bad thing to have in the middle of a desert.

Back to square one.

He looked skywards. No change.

Silly planet, he mused to himself.

What quirk of cosmic fate would have two suns at exactly opposite positions in the sky at all times of the day? The suns merely seemed to circle around each other, like birds of prey. And what was worse was, the imaginary center of the circular path of these diametrically opposite suns seemed to be exactly overhead.

Was there even a day? Did this planet even rotate? Or revolve even? Will this planet have a permanent dark side like The Moon, too?

Maybe the universe does have a sense of humor, he thought.

He raised his flask, and took his last gulp.

*******

I received this mail from my past self.

“Dear future self,

Geez! I WAS smart back then!!

To preserve your sanity, I recommend you read none of these posts. If you do want to go to the depths of stark raving madness, click on the link or continue…

—–

What then, does happen to the passengers on the train?

Well, complying with the fundamental principles of Quantum Mechanics, the passengers may or may not switch trains while these ghost trains pass through each other .

(I believe another pint ot two of the golden brew might help at this point.)

Depending on whether the passengers do switch trains, (or refuse to do so) the collapsing of the universes may or maynot happen.

Notice the plural usage of the term ‘universe.’ I chose the plural since we have already established that the universes we are talking about are decidedly individual, It’s the thing in vogue, don’t you know?

So, as we were saying this collapsing of universes depends on whether you decide to switch trains ( No, not you r daily eight fifteens and nine-twenties. I mean, the ghost trains we are talking about!) Of course, if you try the switching-trains act with your daily eight-fifteen and nine-twenties, you’ll only end up being a candidate for the padded cell or a specimen for the students of medicine, one way or the other…

Yes, I do tend to confuse my parentheses…

Assuming for the moment that you do switch trains, your world order in existence (until then) changes (None of the sky-turning-green or grass-turning-blue business, remember?)

This change in the world order is not noticeable. In fact it is as furtive as a cat-burglar hopping over an open window sill trying to do his job. And that is precisely what it does - its job. The job under scrutiny being nothing else but coming into existence. It is a definite pity that this coming into existence business is not heralded as, I believe, it should rightly be!

A change in the world order signifies a change in the event segue, which is, as we know, unheralded, yet taken as a completely natural course of action.

We often tend to mistake such event segues as providence or Acts of God, while the truth is that we ourselves have induced it. Not that we know we have.

Take for example, a simple case.

Remember the time when you chose a particular piece of apparel over the other? The very act of choice was enough to send the universe collapsing without giving it enough time to pack its bags and beat it. And with equal intensisty, fervor and haste was ushered, a new universe, a new world order to make suitable amends.

The point of the entire thing is that your choice of apparel either caused someone to turn a wrinkly nose up in distaste or an equally (if not more) wrinkly eyebrow up in praise. Either ways there was something wrinkly going up.

Notice that, irrespective of the nature of choice, a new world order is bound to emerge.

And when a new world order does emerge, the first thing it does is obliterate any vestiges of the existence of the previous one. No point in clashing two titans where only one can exist. better clear out the playing fields, what?

Do this uniquely existing NWO tries to bandy its existence about the place, as successfully as a string quartet playing the harmonica and as is wont, fails miserably.

The cause for failure must not be attached to experience, or rather the absence of it. For, experience caunts naught in trhe business it is supposed to perform. On the contrary, the cause for failure is the inevitable truth that NWOs have an exceedingly short life - well, shorter than most, actually.

At this point, may I suggest another pint or two?

What with NWOs clashing with each other and attempting to remain unique with their exitences what happens to the trains?

Now, don’t tell me you have forgotten about the trians already?

Tut, tut! To simplify things, I shall now attempt to bring the two examples and analogies together and combine them as one, so as to render understanding this concept, astoundingly easy!!

Listen closely, the tracks that I spoke about, while discussing the trains (the ghost trains to be more specific) are merely instances of different world orders.

The trains are, well, event segues that keep changing these tracks and keep running into each other without crashing. The passengers in trains are people - us, you, me and the rest of the world (although, why anybody would ride ghost trains is beyond me…)

Aha, I hear you say! How can two people, with two obviously unique and distinct lives, ride the same train? Isn’t thee a flaw, a fallacy in this argument? Doesn’t it indicate a chink in the armor of your reasoning?

To that, my answer would be a ruddy “NO!!”

It doesn’t. Hear me out. It’s quite simple, actually.

Remember that the trains are merely event segues. And an event is nothing but a blot, a point on the four-dimensional landscape. To refresh your memory and your Advanced Physics 101, the four dimensional landscape is made of three dimensions of space and one of time.

(Though, why anyone would add the two together is a little weird.

And if you can picture a 4-d landscape, you may quit reading at this point, find yourself a nice shawl, a comfortable rocking chair and do what you bally well do the best. Nod off to sleep, that is. Sweet dreams.)

To the rest of you who have not yet nodded off to sleep, let us board our ghost trains yet again.

Since events are merely a blot on the 4-d landscape, and we humans are the same, it is a simple deduction. You know the methods, dear reader. Apply them.

If you came up with an equation that resembled something of the sort:

We, humans = Events on the 4-d landscape

Well, you have earned your Advanced Physics degree and are on your way to winning the Nobel prize for physics. People have been given the prize for far fewer letters in their equations, the notable one being the much bandied about:

E = mc2

But, I digress.

Although you may have earned your Advanced Physics degree, it does not help to rest on your laurels. Personally, it is a little difficult to imagine why one would rest on laurels, what with laurels being placed (traditionally) on the top of the head as a kind of substitute for crowns, thus rendering the actual resting-on-laurels part a tiresome and extremelyexercising feat to be achieved only by those possessing a lithe body and a burning desire to rest on their laurels.

Coming back to the equation, now that we have figured out that we humans are a blot on the landscape - of time and space - and events too occupy the smae position as we do, it follows that… well, whatever follows, follows.

So sitting in this train - which is analogous to an event segue - running on tracks that are nothing but individual NWOs, we the passengers happen to share the same event and hence it so happens that we end up co passengers on the same train!!!

Elementary, my dear reader!

What is actually a cause for wonder - and concern, as well - is the ease with which we manage to switch these trains. The closeste metaphor that strikes the brain is - weaseling out of a situation. Unfair as it may sound, you, my discerning reader will appreciate the justness of the same!

But what actually had my goose cooked for a while, was the fact that to switch these proverbial, exemplary (is that the right word?) trains, and not suffer any damamge, we too must be made of the same constituents that these trains are made up of!

Ergo, we must be ghosts, too!

But, we quite evidently are not, which means one is not equal to one, and all is not well with the world!!

And that is where reason steps in like a white knight in shining armor and calmly bonks the dragon of confusion on the head and returns the damsel in distress to her ivory tower and -

[CENSORED for indecency]

Erm, I mean to say that the ghost train story, complete with the tracks and passenger constituents was merely an analogy, a metaphor for larger things and should not be mixed.

Gee, these things should come with warning labels attached! “Not to be confused with real life.” “May cause unexpected results.” Many a time, these things have caused me an insufferable headache, especially when consumed in large quantities. The best remedy (or so I have found) is to bottle them and keep them bottle - till eternity.

Trust me, it helps. Really.

What with this talk of bottles and headaches and such, I have this sudden urge to partake a pint or two of the golden brew. Care to join me?

Aah, off to secure that Advanced Physics degree of yours, I see! Well, ’twas nice talking to you!

Cheerie-O!

But I guess it fits the current storyline much more. So, here goes…

—–

Everytime the universe collapses, there is a high chance that you, my dear reader, are the principal cause.

Before you get your knickers into a twist, allow me to offer an explanation.

The collapsing of the universe happens too frequently, too often for anyone to notice. And it usually does that without the slightest preliminary notice that we all think it should serve.

Obviously, not everybody (or should i say everything?) follows the man-made precept of following rules laid down by other men.

Which in itself would be a great contradiction, because we can’t set rules for something (or someone) that set the rules for us in the first place.

Aah, I see that I am beginning to ramble. So I will very prudently get back to the thing I was attempting to explain.

The collapsing of the Universe has nothing to do with bits and pieces of everything flying hither-thither, like an explosion on some war-fields. It is much like the collapsing of a wave function, which - if you have your quantum mechanics right - happens whenever you try and detect the ruddy ol’ thing!

The collapsing of universes merely represents the shifting of probabilities that happen with every moment of decision hat comes your way. What shirt to wear, what trousers to match, what color of socks to choose, to the amount of aggression required to carry it off. Each of these decisions cause your individual universe to collapse and merge with subsequent universes, much like a segue into a song playing on the radio.

I have a distinct feeling that you may have heard all of this before. And it is a feeling i strongly despise. What with the internet and the wealth of information lying thereabouts, it would be a wonder if hadn’t stumbled across this sometime or the other.

Still, given my ability as an (unaccomplished) raconteur, I’ll just egg on, regardless. Back to collapsing universes then…

At each point the universe twists and shifts and moves in mysterious ways, its wonders to perform. Each decision, each choice, each of your moves gives the universe a new path, thus causing the old ones to collapse and re-form (pun, unintended) its ways to the new.

While all this twsting and shifting and moving in mysterious ways to reform is happening, where, I hear you cry, are we??

Well, the answer to that would be a vague-is sort of “Here, we are!”

I know, I know, that is the vaguest vague-ish sort of an answer you could ever expect, but it’ll probably help you a notch, if I added the words, “Here, being a euphemism for the present…” Is euphemism the word I am looking for?

So with all those questions and vague-ish sort of answers out of the way, we return to attack the matter at hand - the matter under scrutiny being the collapsing of universes and the cuases and effects, thereof.

The universe has this ruddy tendency to collpase at the drop of a hat. Not that many hats are being dropped these days. Come to think of it, who wears a hat these days? I am pretty sure that the trademark hat wearers - the cowboys - too desist from wearing hats for pretty much the same reason; that it stereotypes them too much!

But I digress. Where was I?

Aah yes, universes collapsing at the drop of a hat, yes!

So these universes, which have a striking affinity for dropping hats, tend to collapse and there you are!

Where, do I hear you ask, are we?

Tut, tut, I have already answered that question a few paragraphs back, so it would kindly help if you sort of got yourself into an iterative loop and paid more attention to what I was saying…

And if you do manage to extricate yourself out of the aforementioned iterative loop with a break statement or a switch case (which I safely assume you have done, since you have reached this point) I may as well go on with the proceedings, so to say.

So on with the proceedings, as you say, most of which seem to involve (or not involve, depending on which point of view you prefer) dropping hats and similar other things…

[Author's Question: Why do the stupid things have to drop anyway??]

A collapsing universe signifies a break from the current chain of events to a new twist in th tale, a new development hitherto unseen, a different outcome of a possibility (which as we happen to know, exists in galore.

Thus when a universe collapses, the world order changes.

No, no, the sky does not go from blue to green, nor does the grass seem to effect a similar chromal exchange. What do you think it is, a ruddy cartoon?

It simply means, dear reader, that a new sequence of events is estanblished. And it might please you (or surprise you) to know that this sequence exists only unitl the time of the next universe collapse. Which, as we happen to know happens too soon for the time scale experienced by us humans.

With all these ruddy collapses happening all around us, where do I hear you ask, are we?

Tut, tut. I do think a pint or two, of the golden brew might help you restore our jangled nerves at this point.

Having already answered that question before, I will not attempt to delve into it again, since there are other, more important, questions that, I feel, require more of this delving into business…

The establishment of a new sequemce of events is not too difficult to comprehend.

In fact, it is quite simple.

Picture a series of railway tracks.

Where?

Well, picture them in ruddy ol’ Timbuktu for all that I care! Just picture them!!

All good? With me so far?

Okay, now picture them crossing each other many times over.

Not too difficult, eh?

Well, now try picturing them with trains running on them.

Aah, I seem to have had you there! You might be wondering why these trains do not crash into each other, it the tracks do not cross over many times over.

Well (and a pretty good “Well!!” I might add) the thing is, the trains do crash into each other, but they do not blow into smithereens.

They simply pass through each other as if they were ghost trains.

To be continued…