42 Quirks

I have been kinda busy.

Hmm. Not quite the way to start. But does keep the reader guessing. Sure, let’s keep it. No wait, let’s modify that a little.

I have been terribly busy.

Yeah, give yourself that importance. You self-centered pompous freak!

I have been tied up with certain things that take most of my time.

Right. And the whole world is out fishing. C’mon!! The truth can’t be so bad.

I have been quite lazy these last few weeks. So lazy, I have found it difficult to do the one thing I love the most – write.

A tad too much, eh? What the heck. Let’s just give it to them plain and simple.
(more…)

Well, the show started…

And that’s an unintended pun.

The phone calls started flowing in and I tried to answer as many calls as possible, but I did eventually lose out on a lot of them.

Then the sales team entered, with Vikram at the helm.

They brought me out into the conference room, where a cake had been set up, oops sorry, a huge chocolate cake, with lots of icing, cherries, the works…

I already had a hunch where some of it would end up.

I attempted a small thank-you speech, but failed miserable. I was too dazed to attempt anything. And so, I turned my attention towards the cake…

The knife sliced through, and with one wary hand to stop (or at least pause him from transferring the cake from its rightful position on the table to a new location, viz., my face) But his hand seemed to have a mind of its own…

After I had fed the cake to my Prog Head Kanchan, I turned to find the cake in my face.

Not all of it, just a huge chunk of it.

It tasted yum

And smelt yum, too! Heh heh.
(Some of it slid down my nostrils. Hence the statement)

Revenge!! I ran after my Prog Head and Producer, to ‘hug’ them. Diabolical of me, no? Heh heh.

The rest of the day was mostly a barrage of phone calls, well wishers, and so forth. A listener actually came to the studio with another cake. I was almost over-whelmed.

Rosh, Kanchan, Shubhra, Smita, all the jocks, my alter-ego Romesh (who is actually looking over my shoulder as I type this - yeah, I am doing it to placate him…) this has been the best budday I have had till date!! Thanks a ton!!

All the thanks in the world wouldn’t express how much I actually mean them…

A silver jubilee year, with such a golden start. What more could I have asked for!!

Oh and almost forgot. Here’s the link to those fotus…

HAPPY BUDDAY TO ME!!

Date: 14th June

Time: All day event

PROLOGUE:
———–

After a barrage of phone calls from all those near and dear, I fnally managed to pick up my sorry ass, off the bed and take a shower. (To all those with the skeptical look: Yes indeed, I DID take a shower…)

I reached the office, and was promptly called in by Sameer (VP & Station Director, Radio Mirchi Pune) with a serious expression on his face. My Prog Head, Kanchan and all the other jocks were present there as well.

I sensed something was amiss. Sameer broke the silence.

“What is this guys? Where’s the quotient?”

“But Sameer - ”

“No ifs and buts!! This is not done! You’ve been told a thousand times, maybe more than that! And if you still can’t maintain the quotient, well, there’s something really wrong somewhere…”

Then he turned his guns on me…

“Shrikant, you especially, have had a bad quotient. You really need to work on it!”

What a start to the day. 24 revolutions around the sun, and the 25th has to begin like this. I was trying to check and verify the validity of his statements, when -

I did not see Kanchan tripping.

I did not see the rest of the jock team, attempting to hide their grins.

I did not see Sameer ‘trying’ to maintain a stoic face as he said this.

I did not see everybody trying hard to suppress the laughter that had bubbled up.

And then it burst forth.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!”

I was picked, kicked, congratulated, hugged, shoved, tickled, and all the jazz and razmatazz.

What a way to start my 25th birthday. Heh heh.

I wasn’t complaining. No way!

CHAPTER 1
———–

Roshan (my Producer, sweet woman ) and I planned the show for the day. It was World Blood Donation/Donors day, I interviewed a pan-shop vendor who had donated his blood 170+ times, the show was set.

With my writing pad in tow, I entered the studio, and got set for my show…

4:50 PM:
RJ Maanasi, the Total Filmy Jock, signs out…

4:56 PM
I set up my Sound effects and the songs to play, and get ready…

4:59 PM
The program credits begin…

5:00 PM
Before I begin to describe what happened, a brief introduction is required here:

I begin all my shows with a standard opening line:
“Punekar Mirchiwaale, zara ghadyaale kade laksha dya, paach waajun gelet kaay!”
[Read: "Punekar Mirchiwaale, do look at your watches, it's 5 PM, it's show time!"]

After this I usually launch into the topic of the day, describe it a wee bit, and ask the listeners a question. The show I host, is a games show called Bumper2Bumper. It has lots of contests and loads of fun-filled moments.

So I began,

“Punekar Mirchiwaale, - ”

That’s as far as I got.

After I had spoken those two words, the entire Programming team at Radio Mirchi Pune, barged into the studio, screaming, yelling, and basically making as much noise as they could.

And then, the entire city of Pune knew that it was my birthday.

To say that I was shocked or surprised is an understatement. I was dumbstruck, speechless, ecstatic, words-had-left-me, grinning-like-mad, euphoric, shaking, you name it.

Kanchan, Roshan, Safia, Shubhra, Mirchiman Aniruddha, Khubsoorat Smita, Aditi of Purani Jeans, Dr. Love, Neha, Maanasi, almost everybody was in the studio and wishing me…

That’s about all of it that I can remember, apart from being dazed.

After wishing me on air, the guys left and I began the show a little unsteady from the high that I had just recieved.

And then, the phone lines began ringing…

This was going to be one pleasantly long day.

“Hello, Radio Mirchi…”

(To be continued.)

A sneak peek at part 2:
Enter - the Sales team - a huge chocolate cake - a complete mess - funny pics - and a whale of a time…

“Things make a difference.

It’s your duty to look out for them - or is it?”

- Written in a state of drunkenness, three beers and one large vodka down during the Mirchi Party. The writing is legible, although not one to win any awards anytime soon…

The Mirchi Party happened at Leather Lounge, M.G. Road on Wednesday the 7th. The Pune Office cleared all Sales targets, in fact overshot them. And so we celebrated. Mad music, madder dancing.

I can’t remember for the life of me, when or why I wrote the above. I found it in the morning in my pocket.

Oh, and by the way, this dude is now *officially* an RJ. Hmmm.

I read somewhere that the title to a post should always be something that hooks the reader. I dunno whether that quite matches up but what the heck, I couldn’t think of anything else…

The fact is I have begun training as an RJ (That’s a Radio Jockey, folks,) at Radio Mirchi, Pune. And now, I have a new outlet for my silliness and idiocy! Poor Punekars, they don’t even know what hit them…

As a part of my training, I do a lot of things, with the details of which I shall not bore you right now. It might suffice to say that I do not yap as much as I would want to, but I have had a few lucky swipes at unlucky listeners.

I got to do the Cricket updates of the India v/s South Africa test match in Johannesburg, which was quite cool. A lot of Punekars, heard a stupid voice fumble, and fumble again until it got the score right. In my defense (which is pretty much non-existent) I can only say, the wickets were falling so fast…

But it was fun. The thrill of knowing that somewhere out there, there are people who are listening to you, somewhere out there, there’s someone who has switched off their TV set and is waiting eagerly for that sweet aural massage, that somewhere, someone eagerly awaits your voice… yeah, the mere thought of it is fun. And then you get out on the street and hear people saying things like:

“Who’s that idiot fuck who keeps fumbling silly things like a Cricket score?”

“Why the fuck are they announcing Cricket scores on a Radio Station?”

“Aren’t they supposed to, like, play music?”

“Cricket? Radio? Whoever does that these days?”

“Scores on the Radio? That’s so Ell-Ess…”

*Sigh* What can I say?

You should listen to some of the people that call a Radio station. Sometimes, they are plain weird. Other times they are *really* weird. I guess that’s just a part of being an On-Air jock.

This does not mean I’ll be turning into a jock anytime soon. But I think I’d like to do that someday. It’s a cool place and nobody tells me I talk too much, except the listeners of course… But, do I care? Naa-huh! Not me, no sirree!!

Oh well, I actually do…

This is your Jock-on-the-Rocks, Shrikant serving you delicious music on Radio Mirchi 98.3 FM, it’s hot!! Stay tuned!

How does that sound? Good, bad, ugly?